In His Arms

Be near me, Lord Jesus,

I ask Thee to stay,

Close by me forever,

and love me, I pray!

Bless all the dear children

in Thy tender care

And take us to heaven,

to Live with Thee there.

As I held him that night, I had stared at his little face.  His cheeks actually looked a little chubby, compared to the sunken and sharp appearance of his cheeks when he was admitted! I daydreamed in that moment about what his smile would look like someday.  His pale, anemic, malnourished color had transformed into a healthy dark complexion. “Look at you, finally looking like a Haitian!” I said to him.  I had just spent two consecutive days at the hospital with him, waiting hours each day to see the Doctor to have the casts on his legs changed. His clubbed feet were improving so well and I was imagining him walking, even running, someday. It always made me smile when he would move his legs and hit the casts together, causing a clicking sound; “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”  His cry was getting louder, his suck on the bottle stronger, and he was ounces away from weighing in at 3 kg, nearly doubling his weight from when he first came!  Everyday I looked forward to seeing the glimpses of improvement. Little did I know that was the last time I would hold him alive…

News of a baby unexpectedly passing away during the night is never how I planned to start my day. But I knew well enough that there was a probable chance it would happen with the number of high risk children we take in.  But mixed with the sadness and grief was a strange sense of relief.  Is that wrong? Relief that he didn’t have to fight the odds anymore.  Relief that he didn’t have to experience growing up without parents.  Relief that he wouldn’t have to struggle to survive over and over again. Relief that it wasn’t me, but Jesus, holding him now. 

Thank you, Lord, for the chance to love and care for this child.

Admission picture

Recent Picture

Marvens

9/30/13-12/21/13

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