Morsel of Truth

It’s been a pretty random couple o’ months. After returning from Haiti at the end of April, I spent a month in Texas, followed by a month working at a camp. When I finally made it home, I was never home for more than a few days at a time before jetting off again on another 2-5 hour road trip to go to a wedding, visit and friend, or go camping/adventuring somewhere. As I told my mom, “I have to get all my fun done before I start my job!” That’s right, I am one week in to my new job as an R.N. in the OR (Operating Room). I applied for the job on a whim back in May...but with other plans and commitments already made through the summer, I was rather indifferent about getting the job. After interviewing, shadowing and being offered the job, I was able to choose a start date that began after all my commitments were finished, as well as assure that I could have a month off right in the middle of orientation. They said, “sure!”  I said, “golden!” And here I am with a job...and much to my parent’s relief, health insurance. Of which I’ve been without since April.  Thanks, Jesus, for keeping me healthy and safe!  

It’s been strange, though, to hear myself telling people that I’ve got a new job and am therefore “sticking around for awhile.”  Maybe because it’s not what I envisioned myself doing 4 months ago when I left Haiti. Maybe because it’s hard to start over, yet again, in a new and unfamiliar job that requires training and learning. I catch myself wondering often if this is what I should be doing...if I shouldn’t have left Haiti...if I should have applied for different jobs…if I really want to be an OR nurse at all. And though I’m not necessarily convinced on any of those things emotionally, I’ve learned enough times not to lean on my emotions for guidance and assurance. Rather, on God. When I think of how each step in the hiring process fell perfectly and easily into my summer involvements, how I’ve always talked about spending time on a Mercy Ship (which focuses heavily on surgery) and how much calm and peace I’ve experienced during this decision and process, I am reminded of His perfect plan and vision for my life. Ironically, the one thing I DID plan to do when I came home from Haiti - which was to spend some time in West Africa - might not even happen as planned because of the Ebola outbreak in that part of Africa. So while I’ve been handling the disappointment of that change in plans, along with the demands and pressures of a new job, all while sorting through the emotions I described above, I’ve also had to remind myself to just...Stop. Trust. Surrender the plans and details in His hands. And just today as I was relaxing in that, I read this on my Dove chocolate wrapper:

I took some editing liberty there, but it was just the perfect little morsel of truth for the moment and what I’ve been struggling with. He is sovereign. This is in His plan for me. And I am claiming that truth.