Adoption's Personal Story

During the seven months I spent working at Children of the Promise, I witnessed 18 children being united with their forever families through international adoption. While COTP focuses on creating and supporting situations where children can stay with their biological parents, sometimes that just isn't an option. I've learned a lot about adoption as a result, including the process, paperwork, country requirements, physical and emotional attachment issues...and yet what I have learned and experienced is just the tip of the iceberg that is adoption.

Everyone who has adopted has their story - why they felt led to adopt, how they were matched with the child intended for them, the hurdles and hoops they endured with paperwork and politics, and what God taught them during the joyous moments and difficult times of waiting and unknowing. I loved being able to sit down with some of the adoptive parents to hear their stories, learn about their journey through the process, and see the sovereignty of God at work in their new family.

What I could never learn from a book, adoption website or personal story, however, is the insight I gained from experiencing and witnessing international adoptions "from the other end." These moments: Picking up a child from the hospital, abandoned, with nothing more than their own name; helping to decide how old a child might be based on physical assessment and making up a birthday for them; being asked by a mother to keep her child; watching parents sign paperwork to officially put their child up for adoption and then holding the child as they leave; seeing biological parents return to visit their child; witnessing certain behaviors that are directly related to issues of poor or lack of appropriate bonding/attachment; putting up walls to resist forming my own emotional attachments; escorting a child to the U.S. Embassy in Port au Prince for their visa appointment; celebrating as a child meets their forever family for the first time; watching adoptive parents meet their child's biological parents; sitting with a child as they watch their friend leave with their new mom and dad and telling them that theirs will be here soon; praying over each kiddo that is not matched with a family yet that they might have a family soon, too.

 

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

The following link (bottom of page) is to a video documentary about Haiti and one family's experience with adoption. It features Children of the Promise and was filmed during the time I was there. I hope for this to serve a few purposes for those who take the time to watch it (about 30 minutes long).  It will provide a glimpse into the history and reality of Haiti, take you along for a portion of the emotional and physical journey that the family experienced, and allow you to see and hear some of the sights, sounds and people that I grew to love during the seven months I spent in Haiti.

Click link to watch video:  http://video.pioneer.org/video/2365244418/

When Helping Helps

I just started reading a book called When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor...and Yourself. I know - some might wonder why I didn't read it before I went to Haiti. I bought it beforehand and intended to read it, I just didn't get around to it. So I am reading it now. And I've really only made it three pages into the first chapter so this is in no way a book review or reflection on my thoughts. It is simply to say that it reminded me of some photos and a story I have been meaning to share. If you've read earlier posts, you might remember these cuties:

Photo on the left is when these twins were first admitted into our care in early October of 2013. The picture on the right is two weeks later, right before we discharged them. While in our care for those two weeks, we were able to address the acute medical concerns of diarrhea, vomiting and poor feeding and get some weight on them so that they would have a better chance of thriving back at home. 

Now for the rest of the story: 

They were being cared for by their grandma, since mother had passed away, so they were immediately enrolled into our formula program. Every two weeks, they returned with grandma so that we could weigh them and issue two more week's worth of formula. 

The first few return visits, there was still some concern about weight gain and improvement. One of the twins had persisting diarrhea and his fontanel was sunken again, indicating dehydration. We thought about readmitting them, but also wanted to be cautious about creating a dependence and assumption that every time they were sick we would take them in. Grandma in this scenario is the textbook example of a perfectly capable, willing, loving, devoted caretaker who was fighting against the elements. So instead of readmitting them, we equipped her with the appropriate tools and education to care for the twins at home. All it required was some water purifying tablets (deduced that she didn't have a clean water source to mix the formula with = likely source of diarrhea), Pedialyte for rehydration, and the assurance that she could return at anytime if they weren't improving. At our next assessment, they were back to gaining weight. We were elated and Grandma was empowered. It was beautiful. 

(Insert random health intervention...during one formula day check-in, one of the twins presented with an abscess behind his ear that was the size of half a golf ball. Nothing but a little topical Lidocaine, a sharp scalpel and a few days of oral antibiotics and it was taken care of. I may have done a little victory dance when he came back after the antibiotics were done and it was almost completely gone! Not only for his sake, but I also didn't want to have to address it with the scalpel a second time....First mild surgical procedure for the win!)

I was so glad when they came into the Pharmacy on my last Formula Day before leaving Haiti because, to me, they represented a culmination of my experience in Haiti. They were the first babies to be admitted when I arrived and I was able to watch them through to the end of my time there, thriving and growing into healthy little boys. This is a case where helping helped. 

October 2013- During the two weeks they stayed in our care

Same kiddo - Late April 2014

No way these two would fit together in that infant seat anymore!! 

Children of the Promise has given explicit permission for the posting of photos on this site.  Photos taken of children in the care of Children of the Promise are not to be posted publicly without explicit permission given by Children of the Promise.

Next Chapter

This post coming at you from the state (country?) of Texas! My commitment to Children of the Promise in Haiti ended last Thursday. Don't worry, you didn't miss me announcing my departure in a previous post - I think I was a little in denial up until the night before, to be honest. But it' has happened and I am back in the states, with no return date in the near future. I think that is what made it hardest...telling the nannies I was leaving and hearing them ask again and again, "When will you return?" I had no answer. "Someday...maybe...God knows."  "Then we will pray for you to return," was almost always their response. 

When I originally set out for Haiti, it was initially a three month commitment, which at that time seemed like a long time. Now, seven months later, I feel like I left prematurely. So while I am sad about the end of that short chapter in my life, I am so thrilled to be where I am now.

I think I announced back in a post around New Years that I am going to become an auntie this year.... x 2!  Both of my sisters are expecting THIS MONTH and I am just giddy with joy. My younger sister and her husband are living outside of Chicago. Before flying to Texas, I flew first into Chicago where my parents met me and then together the three of us surprised my sister.  She had NO IDEA I was coming and the reaction was priceless.  Still makes my eyes misty. After a weekend there, I flew to Texas where my older sister is currently living with her husband. They are both currently finishing a graduate program and I am here to help manage house and home and sanity during these final days pre-baby and then for about another month post-baby.

Everyone keeps saying what a blessing that will be to them, but I just keep thinking what a blessing it is to me!  I am loving the intentional time with my sister and bro-in-law before the baby arrives. I am thrilled to be able to help out and spend some extended time with my new niece/nephew (it is a surprise!)  I am relieved for this time to decompress and debrief after being in Haiti. I am at peace with this next chapter.

This doesn't mean I am done blogging about Haiti though, or blogging in general! There are a few posts I started and never published. There's still some stories I want to share. And there may even be things that come up down the road that will need some processing. Stay tuned if you're interested.

Up From the Grave He Arose!

(This post was initially intended for Easter Sunday, but I couldn't get the video to upload...but there is never a day where we shouldn't sing the praises of His glorious resurrection.  Enjoy!)

Happy Easter!  Sunday started with a 6:30 am sunrise service on the roof of a house. The morning sky was so clear as the sun came up and the mountainous view was incredible as we worshipped together.  I spent some time singing hymns with the nannies, too. I love that we can sing these familiar hymns together, just in different languages! I also love that "Hallelujah" is said the same way and means the same thing, no matter what language is being spoken.   

 

Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,

waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord! 

 Up from the grave he arose;

with a mighty triumph o'er his foes;

he arose a victor from the dark domain,

and he lives forever, with his saints to reign.

He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ arose!

Vainly they watch his bed, Jesus my Savior,

vainly they seal the dead, Jesus my Lord!

(Refrain)

Death cannot keep its prey, Jesus my Savior;

he tore the bars away, Jesus my Lord!

(Refrain)

 

 

Just a Little Wait....

Waiting 6-hours at the hospital to see the doctor is always easier with Goldfish crackers...for the kiddo, too. 

 

She was a trooper but finally conked out on my lap after a few hours.

Note: Entire wardrobe change also occurred at one point.

About Turning 26

If you care to read about the happenings of my birthday, you’ve come to the right place!

For those interested: a written account of turning 26.

My birthday celebration started a few days early with the arrival of a birthday package from my parents full of….Cereal!!!  No almost-26-year-old was ever this happy over a few boxes of cereal until now.  The icing on that cake was the fact that when I told my sister I had gotten four boxes of cereal, she guessed which ones my parents sent and guessed three out of the four correctly. What can I say, we’re a family that enjoys cereal! A family that eats cereal together….well, eats cereal together. And it’s a good thing.  

 

 

Birthday Presents!!  It was already a treat that the presents
made it through customs without being unwrapped!
Since clearly unwrapping gifts is half the fun.

I woke up early on April 8th, my birthday, to give myself enough time for physical and mental preparation for that particular tuesday: formula gate day, which has the reputation of usually being our busiest day during a given week. Every-other tuesday is such a day, where all of the people involved in that program come to be weighed and receive a supply of milk formula for an additional two weeks.

When I walked out of my room, the main area of our house was decorated with balloons and my roommate was waiting there with breakfast - French Toast!  Best part was the candles in my French Toast. Thanks Jenna for such an exciting start to the day!  

The morning commenced as explained above and fulfilled its reputation of being busy. We weighed 52 kids in total. Between weighing and providing medical care, it was scattered with birthday greetings and songs from my co-workers and handmade cards from some of the missionary kids. The morning ended with admitting a baby girl who was showing signs of severe malnutrition into our care. Just so happened that it was her birthday, too!  She was turning one. We were officially birthday buddies.  The rest of the afternoon was spent assessing her and working on a plan for nutrition and care with some of the other staff who would help care for her.

 

Once that little birthday girl was settled, this birthday girl went out for dinner with some of the other ladies that live and work here. Getting off the compound is a special treat, especially when it includes pizza and ice cream!

 

Roomies!!

All dressed up

The evening progressed like a typical evening - watching an episode of Parenthood with Jenna. But then Christina shook it up when she stopped by with homemade chocolate peanut butter cupcakes!  Yes please!  Thanks again, Christina.

 

 

I saw my birthday all the way through to the last hour, staying awake past midnight with my new birthday buddy.  It was definitely a memorable day.  I am so grateful for the blessing of meeting this precious angel and being able to be part of a glimpse of her life.  

Hanging out together on our birthday!! 

 

Precious Podelandine passed away on the evening of April 9th. Now she is celebrating a new birthday in the presence of Jesus.  

 

You can read more about her short time with us at COTP in these blog posts written by my coworkers, Carla: In Christ Alone

and Jenna: A Heavenly After

 

 

 

Let Me Introduce You...

 

I want you to meet someone.  Well, there are MANY people here who I would love you all to meet, but I’ll start with her: She’s my co-worker, student, teacher, sidekick, encourager, collaborator, teammate...and friend. Meet Dieulene, the Haitian nurse that works alongside me at Children of the Promise!  

 

 

 

Hired shortly after I arrived in Haiti, we’ve worked side-by-side for about 5 months.  To say she is a valuable asset to this team is an understatement. Working 6 days a week, she is the first person to open the Pharmacy each morning and begin the morning routine: preparing breakfast for one of our special needs kiddos who is on a tube feeding, administering medications, beginning therapy and addressing immediate needs. I arrive to the pharmacy shortly after her and always look forward to her greeting.  During the day, as health situations arise either amongst our own kiddos or visiting community members through our gate, it’s good to be able to collaborate with her and work side-by-side with her.  And not only on health matters, but also in cultural and language situations.  She is ever so patient when I ask her to translate something for me, and is equally encouraging when I effectively communicate something in Creole to a patient.  She is also occasionally a little mischievous when I ask her to say something in Creole for me and she looks at me with a smirk in her eye and says, “No, you know how to say that!”  

 

 

One of the amazing aspects of Children of the Promise as an organization is the number of Haitians that are employed here. I’ve been privileged and blessed by this opportunity to work alongside Dieulene.







Enjoy this little video that was recently made outlining a portion of what she does here.